Monday, August 31, 2009
Spring Cleaning
It has been ages since I've written here - in the midst of moving, unpacking, settling in it just hasn't been a priority. But, now I think it may be a good space for some creative outlet.
Noelle endured all of our transitioning very well. She is such a sweet baby full of smiles for everyone and anything. It warms my heart to watch her take such sweet unadulterated pleasure in the simplest of things. Her eyes will catch something new and that warm sweet smile will creep across her face as she indulges in the newness. Watching her I find myself taking the same sweet pleasure in her. She is a gift. That said - there are certainly times when I find myself tired, easily frustrated, and without patience. I've been praying for something I can read that would give me a greater sense of purpose in my call and vocation as a mother. Little did I know there was some purpose sitting right on my living room book shelf. I picked up our copy of Walter Wangerin's Little Lamb, Who Made Thee? and there I found a treasure trove. Here is a bit from the first story - Spring Cleaning:
These words were just what I needed - the encouragement that even the seemingly simplest of tasks bring order, peace, and consistency to Noelle's present world which will indeed inform how she sees and interacts with the larger world. So, when I'm tired and frustrated - I'll do my best to remember that the work and the life I create for Noelle now does have lasting implications and I can choose to create chaos or beauty for her. My hopes are for beauty with the realization that there is much grace for me and Noelle when I choose the opposite.
Noelle endured all of our transitioning very well. She is such a sweet baby full of smiles for everyone and anything. It warms my heart to watch her take such sweet unadulterated pleasure in the simplest of things. Her eyes will catch something new and that warm sweet smile will creep across her face as she indulges in the newness. Watching her I find myself taking the same sweet pleasure in her. She is a gift. That said - there are certainly times when I find myself tired, easily frustrated, and without patience. I've been praying for something I can read that would give me a greater sense of purpose in my call and vocation as a mother. Little did I know there was some purpose sitting right on my living room book shelf. I picked up our copy of Walter Wangerin's Little Lamb, Who Made Thee? and there I found a treasure trove. Here is a bit from the first story - Spring Cleaning:
"One particular gift of hers (my mother) to us was cleanliness. The experience of cleanliness, of becoming clean. We took it for granted; but it was a way of life, maternal virtue and holy consolation. My mother kept cleaning, kept reclaiming territory by the act of cleaning it, kept redeeming her children therein . . .
Understand: the blessing embraced more than the house. The whole world seemed ordered and good in that day. My mother's feats of cleanliness persuaded me of universal kindness . . .
We children inhabit twice the worlds our mothers make for us: first when that world is no wider than a house, a yard, a neighborhood, and then again when that world is the wide world - because her smaller world teaches us how to see and interpret the real world when we shall travel to it . . .
My mother assured me annually (through spring cleaning) that newness has a right and a reality, that error can be forgiven, that the sinner can be reclaimed. In springtime she surrounded me with the immediate, primal light of God. Now, therefore, I trust renewal. Resurrection. Easter!"
These words were just what I needed - the encouragement that even the seemingly simplest of tasks bring order, peace, and consistency to Noelle's present world which will indeed inform how she sees and interacts with the larger world. So, when I'm tired and frustrated - I'll do my best to remember that the work and the life I create for Noelle now does have lasting implications and I can choose to create chaos or beauty for her. My hopes are for beauty with the realization that there is much grace for me and Noelle when I choose the opposite.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Denial
I should be packing or cleaning but instead I'm updating the blog. I'm in a bit of denial that we are actually leaving this place we've called home for most of our married life. If I think to much about saying goodbye to anyone here in St. Louis I get very sad. Thus, only two boxes have been packed and our apartment is quite messy. I guess I think that if I don't do anything nothing will change and we'll go on with life as normal. Alas, I don't think this tactic will work. Mark is finished as of a half hour ago with his Seminary career - it has been a long road but God has provided every step of the way so we rejoice even though our hearts are heavy with leaving this chapter of our story. But, as a common saying goes around Covenant, this is not the end of the story! Our hope rests in a day where there will be not more goodbyes and we'll dwell with those we love in the great garden city!
Here are some recent pictures of Noelle - she is eleven weeks old now!
Mother's Day
Rocking with Daddy before bed
Here are some recent pictures of Noelle - she is eleven weeks old now!
Mother's Day
Rocking with Daddy before bed
Sunday, May 03, 2009
10 Weeks Old
Noelle is 10 weeks old today. Time has flown by. I am done with my three weeks of work and now I'll be able to be with Noelle all the time. This week we will begin packing for our move back to Utah. We are really going to miss St. Louis, I'm sad just thinking about it and all the wonderful friends we will miss here. However, when I think of Utah I am happy knowing the wonderful community that waits for us there. Life is full of transitions - thankfully they've all been good for us this far.
Enjoy some recent pictures of Noelle:
Noelle smiling at her ceiling fan.
Below is a video of Noelle smiling at her best friend the ceiling fan - sorry about the angle.
Enjoy some recent pictures of Noelle:
Noelle smiling at her ceiling fan.
Below is a video of Noelle smiling at her best friend the ceiling fan - sorry about the angle.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Noelle's Birth Story (Finally)
Below is a letter I've written to Noelle detailing (did I mention detailed) her birth story. For those of you out there who are interested enjoy - all others you may want to skip this one
Dear Noelle,
Today you turned one month old. I intend to write you letters on a regular bases as a sort of record of your life through my eyes. This one will be a bit long because I want to tell you the story of your birth:
I was sure you'd come early because Grammy and Aunt Amie had all had early deliveries with their babies. But I should have known I couldn't count on that because our pregnancy had been nothing like theirs. They were always sick but I had a wonderful pregnancy with little sickness. Well, you didn't come early, each day would pass and I would wonder - is today the day our Momoko (I'm sure by now you know how you received this nick-name) will come? But you didn't come. Your dad and I decided that we would celebrate your due date by going out for breakfast. The morning, Saturday February 21, I woke up at 7am to the sound of my alarm. I went straight to the bathroom and felt something a little different then normal. I thought to myself "has my water broken?" But I didn't want to get my hopes up so I jumped in the shower. Again, I felt the same funny sensation and sure enough I looked down and saw some bloody show. I immediately called for your dad who came running. He confirmed what I was seeing and we agreed my water had broken! We looked on the Internet and read our books to find out everything we could about broken water. We read that it can take anywhere between 12 - 24 hours for labor to begin - so I grabbed a package of maxi-pads and sat back to wait. We decided to forgo breakfast out because the water doesn't just break once it keeps coming.
We spent a very long day at home in eager anticipation of contractions starting. We were excited for things to get going because we were so eager to meet you. But, nothing happened so we hung out at home. We took one walk but it was so cold and blustery it didn't last long. we called Grammy and Grandpa, Nana and Papa - who called the rest of the family, we let our friends know through e-mail and facebook. Everyone was soon praying for your safe arrival.
We called our doula a couple of times to keep her updated on how things were going (or not going as the case was). She decided to drop by our apartment around 5pm to check in on us and to see what position you were in. It was good she came to visit because after checking me she thought you might be a little posterior so she had us do these funny exercises to try to help you move. I knelt on all four while your dad stood above me rubbing a cloth back and forth over my tummy. Well after about an hour of this contractions finally began! Our doula went home and told us to call her when we thought we wanted her to come.
We tried to lay down to get some sleep because we knew we'd be in for some hard work but I was to uncomfortable to sleep. I ended up spending most of the evening and night rocking in the rocking chair with your dad beside me timing contractions. With each contraction that came I would hold on to his hand, close my eyes, breath deeply and it would pass. We had a beautiful vase of white roses your dad had given me for Valentines day that I kept looking at while we kept Miles Davis' Kind of Blue playing over and over again. As the night went on your grandparents couldn't believe we hadn't gone to the hospital yet or called our doctor but we felt fine and safe with our decision knowing our doctor was fairly laid back.
We called our doula when our contraction started averaging five minutes apart - she came over around 11:30pm. We continued laboring in basically the same position on the rocking chair. By 2am our contractions were four minutes apart which we had been told in our birthing class might be a good time to head to the hospital. I asked our doula if she thought we should go to the hospital, she said it was up to us, that I was such a peaceful laborer that it was hard for her to gauge where I might be in my labor. She did suggest I might want to take a shower first, I decided that I'd rather get to the hospital. Your dad packed up the car while our doula helped me through my contractions, she was great but it was during those contractions I realized how much I needed your dad. Working with your dad through labor is one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had. We didn't need to communicate with words I new he understood my needs and he was strong and constant in his support of those needs. He was amazingly strong and steady the whole time.
We made our way to the car - it was a very cold Midwestern winter night. The car ride was not the most comfortable car ride but I was managing fine. We arrived at the hospital and made our way to labor and delivery where your dad checked us in and our doula helped me through my contractions. It was at this time I began to sense that my contractions were slowing down. We were brought to the triage room where a nurse hooked me up to a monitor, asked us all sorts of question in not the friendliest of manners. We gave her our birth plan which she said she would have to o.k. with our Doctor even though he had already approved it. I was very uncomfortable during the whole process. She examined me, I was 4cm and 90% effaced. I was a bit disappointed that we weren't further along but our doula was upbeat and positive saying she thought it was great we were that far.
They admitted us into our labor and delivery room - it was obvious by now that things had slowed down. Looking back, with the help of our doula, I seemed to have a very sensitive labor as you'll see more of in the rest of the story. Outside forces and changes really seemed to affect me and make things slow down, whether it was going from our home to the hospital, or the less then friendly nurse, or the arrival of our doctor. I guess I had a deeper need for privacy and solitude than I thought. Contraction never entirely stopped although their frequency slowed their duration increased from 1.5 minutes to 2 minutes or longer. I did a lot of swaying and pacing. I tried resting in bed and was able to sleep a bit during contractions. At one point I tried a shower which was great and really seemed to help things pick up for awhile. We soon had a new nurse who was much friendlier and really cheered me up. We also had a visit from our doctor who said we were doing great and he wasn't at all concerned that my water broke 24 hours earlier. Even with these encouragements - things moved slowly.
By 10am Sunday morning we were all exhausted. Our doula suggested that we may want to have the nurse check us but we should be prepared to think about our medical options to help labor progress because the nurse might bring these up. Our doula left us for awhile to think through this - both your dad and I were very disappointed thinking we may need medical intervention, we both cried from our disappointment and our exhaustion. Our doula came back and we decided to call in the nurse to check on how far I'd progressed. The nurse said she would check me but she would be surprised if things had progressed, fortunately she was wrong! I was 7cm and 100% effaced, something had been happening in all that slow laboring. We were all so excited - the good news seemed to jump start my labor.
Not long after the good news of my progression I started into transition. My contractions were coming one on top of the other for two hours. This was of course the most pain I had experienced during labor. I stood during this time leaning on your dad and every time a contraction would start I would step back and squeeze your dads forearms. I was finding it hard to breath through contractions. I would say to your dad and the doula "I can't do this," over and over again. At one point I asked the doula "Is this normal?" Knowing logically that of course it was normal. Sooner or later I lost all modesty and took off my gown because I was getting so warm. Finally, I began to feel the urge to push - so I did by making a very low grunting/groaning noise. I soon moved to the toilet because it felt good to relax those muscles. Your dad sat in front of me the whole time holding on to my hand for support while I kept pushing. Eventually I was sure I felt your head coming out so, I told your dad and the doula. The doula told me to reach down to see if I could feel your head. Sure enough, it was there. Our doula suggested that it might be a good time to have the nurse come in so I pulled the cord for her to come and in rushed our doctor and the nurse. We told them I felt your head coming out and our doctor said very calmly - "Well we can't deliver the baby on the toilet so why don't we have you move over to the bed where I can check you. Sure enough he saw your head and told me I could be an O.B. :) He suggested a side-lying pushing position and wouldn't you know it my contractions slowed down again and I found myself falling asleep between contractions. Soon our doctor and the nurse left and I returned to the toilet in hopes that would help get things going again - but it didn't.
Soon we found ourselves calling the nurse in to see if there was anything we could do medically to get things moving - to which she basically said no because according to our birth plan we didn't want any medical intervention. Our doctor returned and said he didn't think any medical intervention was necessary but maybe some guided pushing would help. So, I returned to the bed rested my legs in stirrups and began pushing on command. Pushing was a lot of hard work and not very comfortable but it was so helpful to have someone telling me to push and to have everyone cheering me on. I soon heard someone say there's the head and it is full of hair. I was shocked that you had hair because neither your dad or I did when we were born but I was so excited that it made me want to push you out even more. Finally, your head was fully out and the doctor told me to put my hands down to pull you out but he said I would have to push one more time to get you out. I told him that I couldn't push you out and catch you at the same time - he told me I could and instructed me to get my hands down there. So, with one last push I pulled you up on top of me.
It was beautiful - you were crying, and crying so was I, and daddy, and our doula. We had worked so hard to bring you into the world and there you were full of life crying and pink with a full head of hair. Almost immediately you latched on and began nursing - it was wonderful. Daddy cut your umbilical cord and soon my placenta was delivered. I remember the doctor showing your dad and the doula the placenta and I was asking to see it too. Soon, everyone left us and daddy and I had some special time with you - it was a wonderful time for our little family to bond.
Eventually, we called the nurse back in to clean and measure you. You were 7 lbs. 12oz. and 20.5 inches long and just beautiful. We spent time calling family to let them know that after 22 1/2 hours of labor you had arrived on February 22 at 4:49pm beautiful and complete. Our lives will never be that same. We love you little Noelle and we're so glad you're here.
Love,
Mama
Dear Noelle,
Today you turned one month old. I intend to write you letters on a regular bases as a sort of record of your life through my eyes. This one will be a bit long because I want to tell you the story of your birth:
I was sure you'd come early because Grammy and Aunt Amie had all had early deliveries with their babies. But I should have known I couldn't count on that because our pregnancy had been nothing like theirs. They were always sick but I had a wonderful pregnancy with little sickness. Well, you didn't come early, each day would pass and I would wonder - is today the day our Momoko (I'm sure by now you know how you received this nick-name) will come? But you didn't come. Your dad and I decided that we would celebrate your due date by going out for breakfast. The morning, Saturday February 21, I woke up at 7am to the sound of my alarm. I went straight to the bathroom and felt something a little different then normal. I thought to myself "has my water broken?" But I didn't want to get my hopes up so I jumped in the shower. Again, I felt the same funny sensation and sure enough I looked down and saw some bloody show. I immediately called for your dad who came running. He confirmed what I was seeing and we agreed my water had broken! We looked on the Internet and read our books to find out everything we could about broken water. We read that it can take anywhere between 12 - 24 hours for labor to begin - so I grabbed a package of maxi-pads and sat back to wait. We decided to forgo breakfast out because the water doesn't just break once it keeps coming.
We spent a very long day at home in eager anticipation of contractions starting. We were excited for things to get going because we were so eager to meet you. But, nothing happened so we hung out at home. We took one walk but it was so cold and blustery it didn't last long. we called Grammy and Grandpa, Nana and Papa - who called the rest of the family, we let our friends know through e-mail and facebook. Everyone was soon praying for your safe arrival.
We called our doula a couple of times to keep her updated on how things were going (or not going as the case was). She decided to drop by our apartment around 5pm to check in on us and to see what position you were in. It was good she came to visit because after checking me she thought you might be a little posterior so she had us do these funny exercises to try to help you move. I knelt on all four while your dad stood above me rubbing a cloth back and forth over my tummy. Well after about an hour of this contractions finally began! Our doula went home and told us to call her when we thought we wanted her to come.
We tried to lay down to get some sleep because we knew we'd be in for some hard work but I was to uncomfortable to sleep. I ended up spending most of the evening and night rocking in the rocking chair with your dad beside me timing contractions. With each contraction that came I would hold on to his hand, close my eyes, breath deeply and it would pass. We had a beautiful vase of white roses your dad had given me for Valentines day that I kept looking at while we kept Miles Davis' Kind of Blue playing over and over again. As the night went on your grandparents couldn't believe we hadn't gone to the hospital yet or called our doctor but we felt fine and safe with our decision knowing our doctor was fairly laid back.
We called our doula when our contraction started averaging five minutes apart - she came over around 11:30pm. We continued laboring in basically the same position on the rocking chair. By 2am our contractions were four minutes apart which we had been told in our birthing class might be a good time to head to the hospital. I asked our doula if she thought we should go to the hospital, she said it was up to us, that I was such a peaceful laborer that it was hard for her to gauge where I might be in my labor. She did suggest I might want to take a shower first, I decided that I'd rather get to the hospital. Your dad packed up the car while our doula helped me through my contractions, she was great but it was during those contractions I realized how much I needed your dad. Working with your dad through labor is one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had. We didn't need to communicate with words I new he understood my needs and he was strong and constant in his support of those needs. He was amazingly strong and steady the whole time.
We made our way to the car - it was a very cold Midwestern winter night. The car ride was not the most comfortable car ride but I was managing fine. We arrived at the hospital and made our way to labor and delivery where your dad checked us in and our doula helped me through my contractions. It was at this time I began to sense that my contractions were slowing down. We were brought to the triage room where a nurse hooked me up to a monitor, asked us all sorts of question in not the friendliest of manners. We gave her our birth plan which she said she would have to o.k. with our Doctor even though he had already approved it. I was very uncomfortable during the whole process. She examined me, I was 4cm and 90% effaced. I was a bit disappointed that we weren't further along but our doula was upbeat and positive saying she thought it was great we were that far.
They admitted us into our labor and delivery room - it was obvious by now that things had slowed down. Looking back, with the help of our doula, I seemed to have a very sensitive labor as you'll see more of in the rest of the story. Outside forces and changes really seemed to affect me and make things slow down, whether it was going from our home to the hospital, or the less then friendly nurse, or the arrival of our doctor. I guess I had a deeper need for privacy and solitude than I thought. Contraction never entirely stopped although their frequency slowed their duration increased from 1.5 minutes to 2 minutes or longer. I did a lot of swaying and pacing. I tried resting in bed and was able to sleep a bit during contractions. At one point I tried a shower which was great and really seemed to help things pick up for awhile. We soon had a new nurse who was much friendlier and really cheered me up. We also had a visit from our doctor who said we were doing great and he wasn't at all concerned that my water broke 24 hours earlier. Even with these encouragements - things moved slowly.
By 10am Sunday morning we were all exhausted. Our doula suggested that we may want to have the nurse check us but we should be prepared to think about our medical options to help labor progress because the nurse might bring these up. Our doula left us for awhile to think through this - both your dad and I were very disappointed thinking we may need medical intervention, we both cried from our disappointment and our exhaustion. Our doula came back and we decided to call in the nurse to check on how far I'd progressed. The nurse said she would check me but she would be surprised if things had progressed, fortunately she was wrong! I was 7cm and 100% effaced, something had been happening in all that slow laboring. We were all so excited - the good news seemed to jump start my labor.
Not long after the good news of my progression I started into transition. My contractions were coming one on top of the other for two hours. This was of course the most pain I had experienced during labor. I stood during this time leaning on your dad and every time a contraction would start I would step back and squeeze your dads forearms. I was finding it hard to breath through contractions. I would say to your dad and the doula "I can't do this," over and over again. At one point I asked the doula "Is this normal?" Knowing logically that of course it was normal. Sooner or later I lost all modesty and took off my gown because I was getting so warm. Finally, I began to feel the urge to push - so I did by making a very low grunting/groaning noise. I soon moved to the toilet because it felt good to relax those muscles. Your dad sat in front of me the whole time holding on to my hand for support while I kept pushing. Eventually I was sure I felt your head coming out so, I told your dad and the doula. The doula told me to reach down to see if I could feel your head. Sure enough, it was there. Our doula suggested that it might be a good time to have the nurse come in so I pulled the cord for her to come and in rushed our doctor and the nurse. We told them I felt your head coming out and our doctor said very calmly - "Well we can't deliver the baby on the toilet so why don't we have you move over to the bed where I can check you. Sure enough he saw your head and told me I could be an O.B. :) He suggested a side-lying pushing position and wouldn't you know it my contractions slowed down again and I found myself falling asleep between contractions. Soon our doctor and the nurse left and I returned to the toilet in hopes that would help get things going again - but it didn't.
Soon we found ourselves calling the nurse in to see if there was anything we could do medically to get things moving - to which she basically said no because according to our birth plan we didn't want any medical intervention. Our doctor returned and said he didn't think any medical intervention was necessary but maybe some guided pushing would help. So, I returned to the bed rested my legs in stirrups and began pushing on command. Pushing was a lot of hard work and not very comfortable but it was so helpful to have someone telling me to push and to have everyone cheering me on. I soon heard someone say there's the head and it is full of hair. I was shocked that you had hair because neither your dad or I did when we were born but I was so excited that it made me want to push you out even more. Finally, your head was fully out and the doctor told me to put my hands down to pull you out but he said I would have to push one more time to get you out. I told him that I couldn't push you out and catch you at the same time - he told me I could and instructed me to get my hands down there. So, with one last push I pulled you up on top of me.
It was beautiful - you were crying, and crying so was I, and daddy, and our doula. We had worked so hard to bring you into the world and there you were full of life crying and pink with a full head of hair. Almost immediately you latched on and began nursing - it was wonderful. Daddy cut your umbilical cord and soon my placenta was delivered. I remember the doctor showing your dad and the doula the placenta and I was asking to see it too. Soon, everyone left us and daddy and I had some special time with you - it was a wonderful time for our little family to bond.
Eventually, we called the nurse back in to clean and measure you. You were 7 lbs. 12oz. and 20.5 inches long and just beautiful. We spent time calling family to let them know that after 22 1/2 hours of labor you had arrived on February 22 at 4:49pm beautiful and complete. Our lives will never be that same. We love you little Noelle and we're so glad you're here.
Love,
Mama
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
8 Weeks Old
It's been a busy few weeks for all of us. My best friend Natalie came for a visit - we had a great time enjoying each other and getting out to see some of St. Louis. Next, my sister and her family came for a visit over Easter. Finally, Mark's parents arrived to look after Noelle during my first week back at work. The business does not end - I have two weeks left of work, we have four weeks until graduation, and six weeks until we pack up and move back to Salt Lake City! It will be a whirlwind.
Aunt Natalie Visits
Noelle's first trip to the Arch
Watching the Final Four with Daddy
Aunt Amie visits
Easter morning with Easter basket
Happy Easter Noelle!
Noelle in her Easter Dress
Noelle with her cousins Ian and Jadon
Aunt Natalie Visits
Noelle's first trip to the Arch
Watching the Final Four with Daddy
Aunt Amie visits
Easter morning with Easter basket
Happy Easter Noelle!
Noelle in her Easter Dress
Noelle with her cousins Ian and Jadon
Monday, March 30, 2009
Noelle Smiles!
Noelle has been treating us each morning with smiles and cooing! It is a wonderful treat especially if we've had a particular fussy evening the night before. Here are various stages of smiles from our little girl.
Spring Break
Mark was off on Spring break last week so we decided to venture outside of the great city of St. Louis to Springfield, IL two hours away. Besides being Illinois state Capitol, Springfield is home to the Abraham Lincoln Museum and Library which was our main destination. Noelle did great on the trip she only had one break down which was our fault we decided to push our luck and drive a little further when we knew she was hungry. Alas we all survived and below are the pictures from our first grand adventure with little Noelle.
Diaper change in the front seat of the car.
Noelle Sojourner in front of a model of Sojourner Truth.
Noelle and Mark in front of the Museum
After the melt down full of food and content.
On the car ride home all pooped out.
Diaper change in the front seat of the car.
Noelle Sojourner in front of a model of Sojourner Truth.
Noelle and Mark in front of the Museum
After the melt down full of food and content.
On the car ride home all pooped out.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Noelle 1 Month Old
Noelle has been with us for four weeks - hard to believe. In her four short weeks she has already been to her first wedding, on her first play date with her friends Charlie and William, and has made her Mama and Daddy fall in love with her. Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks.
Noelle asleep in her car seat.
Kickin' it on her boppy.
Napping on Daddy
Two peas in a pod.
Happy Girl!
Rocking with Mama
Noelle asleep in her car seat.
Kickin' it on her boppy.
Napping on Daddy
Two peas in a pod.
Rocking with Mama
Thursday, March 05, 2009
First Week
Our first week with Noelle went well. We are enjoying her very much - she seems to change a little bit every day. We have changed many diapers and I feel like my life pretty much consists of keeping her belly full. She has already met all of her grandparents and seems to like them all quite well. She enjoys her daddy and focuses on every word he says. We are so thankful for our healthy beautiful girl.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Announcing . . .
Noelle Sojourner Peach
Born on February 22, 2009 at 4:49PM
Weight: 7lbs 12oz Height: 20.5 inches
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